


Rhodey Deserves a Break

by daymaedoo



Series: The Rainy Day Folder [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Gen, Irondad, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Nick Names, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Betaed, Not Spider-Man: Far From Home Compliant, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, Uncle James "Rhodey" Rhodes, We Die Like Men, author should be studying for chemistry, basically a crack fic, i had this idea and i couldnt sleep without posting it, instead they posted this at almost two am, none of that shit happened, spiderson, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 02:28:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20827883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daymaedoo/pseuds/daymaedoo
Summary: Tony uses nicknames and Rhodey is over it.orI saw a post on tumblr and it wouldn't let me sleep so please enjoy this crack fic.





	Rhodey Deserves a Break

Peter had been sitting in the lab, minding his own business and working on calculus when Pepper walked in, heels clicking over the sound of a drill whirring where Tony was working on Mr. Rhodey’s legs. 

“Antony Edward Stark.” She started as she entered the threshold. Tony jumped and had the decency to look slightly sheepish for less than a second before his Stark persona was back in place, coy smile and all.

“Ah, Mrs. Potts! To what do I owe the distinct pleasure?” He snarked before returning to the intricate upgrades to Rhodey’s aids. Peter, for his part, barely spared a glance before delving back into the land of limits and derivatives that could, quite seriously, suck his ass. He’d much rather work on suit upgrades or the tensile strength of his webs. Or maybe he could figure out a way to make his webs medically safe. It would be a nice replacement for everyday sutures that pulled at the skin. If only he could find a way to modify the enzymes to make the webs less acidic and safe to touch an open wound...

Peter soon found that he was no longer working on buttfuck calculus and was instead messily scribbling down chemical equations as they quickly bounced through his mind. The thrumming in his head came to the forefront of his mind as Pepper and Tony’s squabble about one thing or another faded to the back. 

That was until there was a sharp sigh followed by the cold sound of irritated clicking. “You’re absolutely impossible, Tony.” 

“Nice to see you too, Virginia.” He called after her. She rolled her eyes and smiled at Peter.

“Hey, Pete.” She said, sweetly. The boy in question grinned back.

“Hey, Pep!” He said to her back. She glanced back and winked before sauntering through the glass door and demanding Tony to be at the next board meeting, so help me god. To which the man snickered, not looking up from the braces in front of him.

A brief moment of silence covered the room. It was peaceful. Calm. Something of a rarity around the Stark household.

That moment of tranquility was soon broken.

“So, where did Virginia come from?” Rhodey suddenly speaks up.

Peter can hear Tony’s hands freeze their movement against the hollow metal on his best friend’s legs. Even with his back to the men he can see the way Tony’s head, painfully slow, rises from it’s hunched position. He can imagine the way Tony’s face sits- tortured, with a ripple appearing between his brows- as he searches for something in Rhodey’s eyes.  
“What?” Rhodes questioned lowly.

That’s when Tony breaks into a shit-eating grin. 

He snorts. It's ugly and obscene and fueled by so much mockery Peter is almost floored by its sheer force. Then he’s laughing. Full-bodied chortles and guffaws shake through the man. Peter even has to bite back his own chuckles because he doesn’t pick sides. He is here to observe and nothing more. 

He regrets the fact that those words ever left his mouth this morning. 

Nevertheless, Tony is near tears and Peter’s shoulders shake with unshed laughter.

“That’s her name, Honeybear,” Tony gets out through gasps of air. “Jesus, you sold your soul to the army. You should know this.” He’s wiping the tears from his eyes as Mr. Rhodes sits indignantly for his part. 

“Well, sorry I never felt the need to do an in-depth search on my best friend’s girlfriend.” He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Not even a Google search?” Peter finally pipes up from behind the two. Rhodey’s eyes snap to the younger boy, comically wide and mouth agape. 

“You knew?” The man whispers.

“Virginia “Pepper” Potts started her work at Stark Industries as the personal assistant to Tony Stark. Because of her brilliance and ambition, Mrs. Potts was appointed to CEO when Mr. Stark stepped down to become Iron Man full time. Mrs. Potts made history by becoming the first female CEO of a multibillion-dollar company at the young age of thirty-eight.” Peter responds solemnly.

Both Tony and Rhodey look at him with questions in their eyes.

“They teach this at school. She’s revolutionary.” He shrugs.

Rhodey hid his face in his hands. 

“I’ve been lied to. Nothing is real. Nothing is as I know it. You’re all fucking monsters.” He mumbles, the sound becoming muffled through his hands.

“Aw, there there Sour Patch,” Tony says, goodnaturedly. “It’s not your fault you’re a ninety-eight year old man.” Rhodey lets out a long, suffering groan as Happy walks in, carrying takeout for the men.  
“Happy! I’ve been deceived!” Rhodes cries at SI’s head of security. Hap looks between Tony and Peter, before shaking his head and going to console the man sitting atop the silver table. 

“How have you been deceived, Rhodey?” He asks like he really doesn’t want to know the answer.

“Pepper’s real name isn’t Pepper,” He sighs almost as dramatically as Tony. “My world has been upended. There is no stability in my life.” He reaches out and grabs Happy’s arm. “You and Peter are the only constant things in my life.”

Happy blanches, slowly extracts his arm before looking Rhodey straight in the eyes.

“My name is Harold.”

Silence.

“What?”

Pause.

“Harold. It’s my actual name. Tony is just an ironic piece of shit.”

“Hey, you still work for me.” Came the betrayed cry.

“No, I work for Pepper.” Happy defended. Rhodes heard none of it as he locked eyes with Peter. 

"Actually, he works for Virginia." Peter amended under his breath before looking back to Rhodey who looked less stable with every passing second.

“Please, for the love of my fucking sanity, tell me that your name is Peter.” Pete pleaded, shaking his head, begged silently for Rhodes to let this one slide. “Bud, I need to know. I can’t go on living like this.” 

Rhodey had become unhinged.

“Uh,” Peter cleared his throat. His face turned a bright shade of red as he worried the worn hoodie that hung from his shoulders. “So, my real name is Benjamin Peter Parker, so kinda?”

The air was still. 

“I gotta go.” 

Rhodey closed the pannel that Tony had been working on and hopped off the table.

“Buddy,” Tony called as the colonel grabbed his things. “Bambino,” He tried stilling the older man’s hands.  
“No man, I gotta go.” And with that, he paced out of the lab, mumbling to himself about lies and bullshit and needing to surround himself with normal fucking people for a change. The silence he left in the work area was deafening until laughter broke out between Peter and Tony. Happy joined in soon after.

And if Tony added that moment to the Rainy Day Folder after Peter went home and Pepper called Happy back to work, well no one needed to know but him.

**Author's Note:**

> hi yeah i changed peter's name to benjamin peter parker just to be a final nail in the coffin for good old rhodes here. im trying to figure out how to add a hyperlink but apparently i can not be assed to do so at the moment so i'm j gonna drop the url to the post that inspired this and you can copy and paste or something but yeah. 
> 
> also its two am. who gives a fuck if this is in multiple tenses. absolutely not me.
> 
> check out my marvel blog on tumblr  
sopeteriskindacool.tumblr.com
> 
> heres the post  
https://theavengays.tumblr.com/post/187144073378/lovelyirony-yes-everyone-knows-that-tony-calls
> 
> day out


End file.
